Name: Nick Smith D.O.B: 23/02/74 Shirt/squad number: 5 (XXL)
Position in club: DC's mentor
Favourite position: Centre half
Nick name(s): Smee / Mr Tumble
Supports: LUFC / Donnie Rovers Ideal Woman: Cross between Mary Poppins and any pornstar!
Ideal job: Male escort
Ideal location to live: Anywhere that's not H.Ass
Which famous character/person dead or alive would you say you’re most alike and why: Homer Simpson.....Ask the missus!
Distinguishing Characteristics/ vital statistics: 6ft 1 and ambidextrous
Most treasured possession: Little Millie
Claim to fame: Went to Josie Lawrence's house - she wasn't in!
Which piece of music / song title represents you – why: "All night long" - Lionel Ritchie - I'm a love machine!!!
Most embarrassing moment in life/football: Still getting in someone elses car by mistake
Best moment on football field: Winning the league and cup double with Harlow
Ambition in life/football: 2nd division winners 2007/2008
What is your biggest fear or phobia: Hear nothing and no one
Favourite cheese: Any mild cheap one Favourite film: Braveheart
Vainest player in club: Brownie Longest in shower: I'd be up there!
Ugliest player in club: Most Annoying player: Fran….Sorry
Most Skilful in club: DC - Magical use of knees Most un skilful: Fran - sorry mate
Remembered for: Destroying Morph's camping table!!!
Always likely to be heard saying: Cliche's one after the other
Season ambition / expectation: Finish above Morph in the telegraph dream team league! - (dream on Tumble)
Tell us 1 thing no one knows about you: I'm a trained killer!!!!!
What do you think will happen/want after you die: I'm going straight to hell!
Name 1 person you’d like to be stuck on a desert island with and why: Ray Mears - 3 course meal and 5 star accomodation all the way!
If you were a super hero – who and what would be your special powers: The Tumbling terror - Destroying everything in his path
How would you spend £1 million pounds: Very quickly!
Give 1 answer to an above question about / on behalf of 1 of your fellow club members - who about?: