Name: David A P Jones D.O.B: 28/07/75 Shirt/squad number: 10
Position in club: Focal point of all things good at Harlow…….on and off the pitch
Favourite position: Just behind the ass……..hole up front
Nick name(s): DAPJ10 / Morph / Woody
Supports: Everton Ideal Woman: Cheryl……(Tweedy in invisible ink!)
Ideal job: ISS – Must be great as so many people work there! Lots of free time!
Ideal location to live: Playboy mansion
Which famous character/person dead or alive would you say you’re most alike and why: Alfie, film says it all but.... 'what's it all about?'
Distinguishing Characteristics/ vital statistics: 5ft 10, rugged and receding with a cheeky smile
Most treasured possession: My family and friends
Claim to fame: None,,,happy to be infamous!
Which piece of music / song title represents you – why: Faithless - God is a DJ (David Jones) - Harlow Hill is my church- It is where I heal my hurts! & It only takes a minute girl......Take that
Most embarrassing moment in life/football: Being stark bollock naked bar a tiny pink thong on a stage in Jimmy’s – did win a dvd player though!
Best moment on football field: Leading Harlow to the league and cup double
Ambition in life/football: To invent a formula for single wipe and go shits
What is your biggest fear or phobia: Harlow’s birthday pint of top shelf and snakes!
Favourite cheese: Dairylea Favourite film: Stand By Me
Vainest player in club: Kowski Longest in shower: About 50 mins - was hungover!
Ugliest player in club: Kowski Most Annoying player: Kowski - doesn't play enough games!
Most Skilful in club: Kowski Most un skilful: Mr Trebus – his rubbish hampers him!
Remembered for: You can answer this 1 – take a moment.….what will you remember me for????
Always likely to be heard saying: Motivational mis – phrases, in through your nose, get your eyes accustomed to the light?????
Season ambition / expectation: Take reserves to the championship Oh and to win the Harlow telegraph dream team league…. again
Tell us 1 thing no one knows about you: Pin number for bank account is 1010 - enjoy
What do you think will happen/want after you die: I want Harlow to retire the number 10 shirt and hold a minute’s silence with it in the centre circle
Name 1 person you’d like to be stuck on a desert island with and why: The Queen – well they’re bound to pull out all the stops to find her plus if I look after her she’ll give me a knighthood….Sir Morph!!!
If you were a super hero – who and what would be your special powers: I am …Morph – ability to transform into any person or creature – 1st on list would be Hiro – ability to freeze time - I’d go rob a bank n stop off at a Girls Aloud concert – just think of the fun….and they wouldn’t be singing!!!!
How would you spend £1 million pounds: Harlow holiday for the lads and with the change….a bag of penny sweets!!!
Give 1 answer to an above question about / on behalf of 1 of your fellow club members - who about?: I think Steven Ascough is most alike the dead character…..Mr Trebus because of his ability to hoard rubbish!!!